My Pronouns: What Should I Say?

I’m occasionally asked to introduce myself to a new group, such as a class or work team.

Typically, the request is to share a few facts like my name, alma mater, current job, career history, hobbies, etc.

Sometimes as part of this casual stream of innocuous pieces of information, I’m asked for “my pronouns.”

Perhaps you’ve also been asked this, and, like me, have been puzzled about a good response which honors eternal truth.

I’ll share mine.

This has taken the form of a progressive series of responses, owing to an increasingly intense level of interest in our society, and shifting perceptions of privacy, and public propriety.

I continue down through the series only as far as the questioner continues to insist on prying the disclosure out of me.

1. Ignore the question completely. Act as though it wasn’t even asked.

   
   

2. (Awkwardly, halting) You want my… personal… pronouns? I, me, my, mine, myself.

   
   

3. I trust you to make a reasonable assumption about me, and refer to me as you feel appropriate.

   
   

4. This conversation is making me uncomfortable. I find it inappropriate in this setting.

   
   

5. Your apparently obsessive fascination with my sexuality is deeply disturbing. This conversation is ending now.

Response One may prompt a repeated inquiry. The person may think you just didn’t hear, or forgot they asked it in their rattled-off list. In this case, simply repeat your refusal to acknowledge the question in any way. In my experience, this has usually ended the questioning as it becomes clear I am unwilling to discuss the matter, and the one asking politely moves on.

This may be the best approach overall, as dignified silence gives nothing about you for anyone to accuse. Staying on Response One even if pushed is the simplest way to address the matter, especially if you’re prone to anxiety in situations like this.

Should you need to continue down the path with an especially onerous interviewer, Response Two is likely to catch them off their guard, possibly freezing them in an awkward pause, then prompting intense mental eye-rolling.

Have no fear!

If the one asking you is especially insistent, you can turn it all back on them and make it as uncomfortable for them as they wish.

Just keep going down the series, and expose them (and others) to their own absurdity.

See also:

John 8: 6

Luke 23: 9

Matthew 21

Mark 11: 27-33

John 2: 13-21

Sometimes, Jesus kept silent. Sometimes, He confounded His enemies with deeply cutting comments or questions. Sometimes, He literally turned the tables. His power to bless is equally matched by His power to curse.